The Hunger Games

By D Sharon Pruitt [CC-BY-2.0
(www.creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)],
via Wikimedia Commons

It hurts. The movie - The Hunger Games - if you watch it, it hurts. I've been home for about an hour, and I'm still zombie-like, stunned, trying to find my numb place. I suspect Tristan feels it too. We've spoken only a handful of sentences since we left the theater. Something dark, palpable, heavy. It weighs on us, that which words cannot transmute to air. I shy from the cliff of tears, the inevitable tumble of pain.

My mother tells me I just feel things more strongly than others do. I can't speak for others; thus I can't know if there is truth to the latter. But as for the former, it is one of the deepest truths I know about myself.

I. Feel things. More. Strongly. 

A Week at the Y

I joined the YMCA in January because they have yoga classes and, more importantly, their promotional offer to waive the one-time join fee was just days from expiring. How could I not join and let such a great deal go to waste? Now two months later, the Christmas money I'm using to cover the monthly dues is almost gone, and I might be fatter than when I started. This is likely because when I exercise, I eat. (Case in point: I went to two yoga classes back to back this morning, and just followed them up with tea and red velvet cake at the coffee shop before starting this post.) And if I added up the number of times I've actually gone to the Y, I'd discover that I've only done a week's worth of exercise in two months. My willpower and motivation are awesome. And by awesome, I mean completely awful. But because I'm uber-judgmental, these handful of classes have been humorous, humbling, and healing.

The Truth

Having tried in vain since November to change it, or at least avoid it, I must now swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth:

I don't like being a stepmom.

"Love Bites" - Le Fin

By Evan-Amos (Own work) [CC0],
via Wikimedia Commons

Missed the beginning? Click to catch up: "Love Bites" and "Love Bites" - Deux.

February 12, 1999

Dearest Jennifer,

     Your warnings about my turning the cafeteria into a chaotic love-fest have been duly noted. As you well know, Cornfed County High School will not be accepting deliveries today.

"Love Bites"

By Chordboard
(Self, from material in my possession.)
[Public domain, GFDL
(www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html) or
CC-BY-SA-3.0-2.5-2.0-1.0
(www.creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)],
via Wikimedia Commons

In honor of the upcoming Valentine's Day (or Cheap Chocolate Eve if your calendar reads "Midgetary"), I dug out my old journals from AP English to find a holiday-themed set of letters I'd written.... Ahhhh, "smells like teen spirit" ... and/or melodrama, b.o., and angst. ;) Enjoy!

***

February 1, 1999

Dear Cupid - 

     Hey, old buddy, old pal! How have you been since last year? Well, I hope! I myself have been doing much better.
     In fact, I'm writing to inform you that this Valentine's Day you'll find me in a much better disposition than last February 14^th, and your presence would be most welcome if you could see fit to hook me up. I need a man. So if you could get your bow and arrow of love aimed my way, I would be sincerely appreciative.