You're a really big guy. Your size alone is intimidating. Your behavior is worse. You got trashed at a wedding. You had your hands all over every woman there. Despite the fact that you didn't know half of them. Despite the fact that most of them didn't want you groping them. Despite the fact that you have a fiancé. Just watching you made me uncomfortable.
I told our mutual friends, AND THEY LAUGHED and said, "Oops! We forgot to warn you about him!" Because it's okay since you're a "good guy." Because you "don't mean any harm." Because you're "always like that" when you're drunk. Because it's easier to warn other people to avoid you than to warn YOU that your behavior will not be tolerated.
And I said nothing -- to you or to our friends. Because you weren't groping me. Because I didn't want to be a "bitch." Because I didn't want to upset our friends by telling them their excuses for you were bullshit.
And so I am angry. At you. At our friends. At myself. We are all guilty. Your behavior, my silence, their excuses. We are part of the problem, part of the culture that blames the victim and defends the attacker. And I am ashamed. #ConsentIsEverything
Off on a Tan(JEN)t
Thursday, June 9, 2016
Thursday, March 29, 2012
P@@P my stepdaughter says...
"Daddy says can you bring him the bigger screw-up driver please."
<re: Justin Bieber being too old to be her boyfriend> "I know. When I'm a teenager he'll be an adult, and when I'm an adult he'll be even older, and when I'm even older, he'll be dead!"
<re: Justin Bieber being too old to be her boyfriend> "I know. When I'm a teenager he'll be an adult, and when I'm an adult he'll be even older, and when I'm even older, he'll be dead!"
"Nan is afraid of dogs, but she would like mine. Except I wouldn't let her near Ace. He bit my vagina yesterday!"
Labels:
funny kids,
poop,
Red-Headed Step-Life,
stepdaughter
Location:
Louisville, KY, USA
Monday, March 26, 2012
The Hunger Games
By D Sharon Pruitt [CC-BY-2.0 (www.creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons |
My mother tells me I just feel things more strongly than others do. I can't speak for others; thus I can't know if there is truth to the latter. But as for the former, it is one of the deepest truths I know about myself.
I. Feel things. More. Strongly.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Springy-Dipping
Photo by; Darkone [CC BY-SA 2.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/deed.en)], via Wikimedia Commons |
It's Spring now, remember?It may be the first day of spring, but it's maybe 40 degrees out here at best, and I'm wearing my huge winter coat.
I know, you're ridiculous, the mild North Carolina winters have made you soft. Totally too warm to warrant that coat.The water's bound to be even colder. We'll freeze to death. Plus the sound is dirty. Storm water, sewer overflow, the signs that recommend not putting your head under? We could get a skin-eating infection and die.
Friday, March 23, 2012
Crap Your Legislator Says
Part of the ongoing saga of Mrs. Awj Goes to Frankfort....
***
Representative X: "You know why crime rates are so much lower in Europe? Because they have real consequences. They don't have kids doing all these drugs because in the Netherlands they hang you for drug offenses."
Riiiight....and by right I mean you're an f*ing moron. Just to be sure, I checked and (a) the Netherlands banished capital punishment from their criminal laws over 130 years ago, and (b) Amsterdam. You just made Dubya look smarter by comparison. *facepalm*
Riiiight....and by right I mean you're an f*ing moron. Just to be sure, I checked and (a) the Netherlands banished capital punishment from their criminal laws over 130 years ago, and (b) Amsterdam. You just made Dubya look smarter by comparison. *facepalm*
***
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Compost Happens...Change Does Too
By ExplicitImplicity at en.wikipedia (flickr/ Transferred from en.wikipedia) [CC-BY-2.0 (www.creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0)], from Wikimedia Commons |
Read the first two installments here: Compost Happens...I Hope and Compost Happens...Of Course!
***
In
2010, having lived and worked in five national parks from sea to shining sea,
I returned to Mammoth Cave at long last. The guide force was
still the same family I knew and loved – equal parts endearing and exasperating. But left to their own devices for five years without my outbursts, they'd changed all by themselves.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Compost Happens...Of Course!
By alexkon from Jerusalem, Israel (Flickr) [CC-BY-SA-2.0 (www.creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], Catchvia Wikimedia Commons |
Catch the beginning here: Compost Happens...I Hope
***
So I
added too much newspaper, water, and yeast, too many nuked-and-frozen
banana peels, and too little soil. And in less than a week's time,
I'd become the world's most successful indoor farmer. Of gnats, that
is. I fished out and trashed the banana peels, tried to rearrange and
dry out the bins a bit, and made approximately five thousand
fruit-fly traps. At two weeks, the feeding frenzy finally commenced!
Tragically, not of the
worms, but on the
worms. My poor little wriggly babies. The damn fruit flies had laid
eggs in my compost bin and were literally eating my invertebrate farm
animals alive! Noooooooooo!!! It was the most disgusting thing ever.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Compost Happens...I Hope
By Red58bill (Own work) [CC-BY-3.0 (www.creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons |
My co-workers' number one suggestion
was: “Throw it out in the woods. The varmints 'll compost it fer
ya.”
1,000!
Off on a Tan(JEN)t passed the 1,000 pageviews milestone today. Yay! Thanks for following along!
Friday, March 9, 2012
A Week at the Y
I joined the YMCA in January because
they have yoga classes and, more importantly, their promotional offer
to waive the one-time join fee was just days from expiring. How could
I not join and let such a great deal go to waste? Now two months
later, the Christmas money I'm using to cover the monthly dues is
almost gone, and I might be fatter than when I started. This is
likely because when I exercise, I eat. (Case in point: I went to two
yoga classes back to back this morning, and just followed them up
with tea and red velvet cake at the coffee shop before starting this
post.) And if I added up the number of times I've actually gone to
the Y, I'd discover that I've only done a week's worth of exercise in
two months. My willpower and motivation are awesome. And by awesome,
I mean completely awful. But because I'm uber-judgmental, these
handful of classes have been humorous, humbling, and healing.
Labels:
change,
hope,
judgmental,
love,
peace,
Random Tan(JEN)ts,
YMCA,
yoga
Location:
Louisville, KY, USA
Sunday, March 4, 2012
The Truth
Labels:
change,
evil stepmother,
family,
friend,
hope,
job search,
love,
melodrama,
mom,
parenting,
Red-Headed Step-Life,
step-families,
stepdaughter,
stepmom,
unemployment
Location:
Louisville, KY, USA
Sunday, February 19, 2012
I Cried
By Miika Silfverberg (MiikaS) from Vantaa, Finland (Flickr) [CC-BY-SA-2.0 (www.creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons |
Week: March 29 - April 1, 1999
Topic: I cried
I went to help my dad coach my little brother's soccer practice on Tuesday. I was only there for the last fifteen minutes, but those fifteen minutes were enough to make me cry.
Practice was over, and I was playing a 3-on-3 pick-up game with some of the boys. One little boy wasn't very good, and so the other kids would never pass him the ball. Then, as he was dribbling, his teammate jumped in front of him and stole the ball from him.
Labels:
Angry-Teen Nerd-Queen,
dad,
idealism,
mean kids,
small town life,
soccer,
teen angst
Location:
Small Town, Kentucky
"Buh buh buh buh...."
(c) Kentuckians for the Commonwealth |
I promise to share these stories of fun and flatulence in the week ahead. ;)
Labels:
family,
parenting,
poop,
step-families,
stepdaughter,
stepmom
Location:
Louisville, KY, USA
Friday, February 10, 2012
"Love Bites" - Le Fin
By Evan-Amos (Own work) [CC0], via Wikimedia Commons |
February 12, 1999
Dearest Jennifer,
Your warnings about my turning the cafeteria into a chaotic love-fest have been duly noted. As you well know, Cornfed County High School will not be accepting deliveries today.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
"Love Bites" - Deux
Missed the beginning? Read it here.
February
9, 1999
Dear
Cupid -
Thanks
ever so much! You said, “Love is blind.” Well, infatuation is
blind too, and boy did it ever blind me. But not to worry! Thanks to
you, good buddy, my eyes were unexpectedly jarred wide open. I was
sitting in Dairy Queen with a cute guy, thinking, Hey,
this just might work out! Maybe Cupid and I aren't on such bad terms
after all,
when lo and behold, you shot me in the butt.
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
"Love Bites"
By Chordboard (Self, from material in my possession.) [Public domain, GFDL (www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html) or CC-BY-SA-3.0-2.5-2.0-1.0 (www.creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons |
***
February
1, 1999
Dear
Cupid -
Hey,
old buddy, old pal! How have you been since last year? Well, I hope!
I myself have been doing much better.
In fact, I'm writing to inform you that this Valentine's Day you'll find me in a much better disposition than last February 14th, and your presence would be most welcome if you could see fit to hook me up. I need a man. So if you could get your bow and arrow of love aimed my way, I would be sincerely appreciative.
In fact, I'm writing to inform you that this Valentine's Day you'll find me in a much better disposition than last February 14th, and your presence would be most welcome if you could see fit to hook me up. I need a man. So if you could get your bow and arrow of love aimed my way, I would be sincerely appreciative.
Labels:
Angry-Teen Nerd-Queen,
Cupid,
high school,
love,
melodrama,
teen angst,
Valentine's Day
Location:
Small Town, Kentucky
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Dad's Attic Potpourri - Big Finish
By Alex Valavanis (Flickr) [CC-BY-SA-2.0 (www.creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0)], via Wikimedia Commons |
Outside, we replaced our bouquets of
moldy attic flowers with handfuls of puffy dandelions, violets, and
wild strawberries. We stuffed red dogwood berries into the gaps of
pinecones to be sold at our make-believe market alongside home-made
mudpies. We threw the dollies and ourselves into the hammock and
thrashed about wildly, buffeted by imaginary storms on invisible
seas. We gave her mom mini-heart attacks, shrieking as the hoards of
tent caterpillars hidden in the grass squished their guts between our
bare toes. We were high on life, but we still craved danger...and
height. Being genetically-doomed to shortness does that to a
person.
Labels:
attic,
basement,
dad,
family,
funny kids,
grass,
hydrogen peroxide,
mom,
parenting,
potpourri,
Random Tan(JEN)ts,
small town life,
tree climbing
Location:
Small Town, Kentucky
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Dad's Attic Potpourri - Part III
Need to catch up? Click to read Part I and Part II.
Leah's mom thought it was a dumb secret
too. The plants might be hidden in the attic now, but he had been
leaving his paraphernalia in plain sight for the past 23 years. Cleaning up – clues, or wet towels, or
crumpled receipts, or dirty laundry - was not Al's strong suit;
hence, neither was secrecy. Nor did he become more stealthy at
harvest time. First, Al meticulously gathered his long-abandoned lab
equipment: tongs for tiny bud clips, electronic balances for weighing
crop yield, paper filters for rolling incense, test tubes for
inhaling smoke to test aroma. Next, he commandeered the family
kitchen for the drying operation – cookie sheets, oven, and all –
with a wink and promise of brownies. Last, he left his gardening
tools, scorched dishes, and trails of spilled potting soil strewn
across every surface in the kitchen and dining room and trotted down
to the basement to savor the smell of success. Very discreet.
Location:
Small Town, Kentucky
Friday, January 27, 2012
Dad's Attic Potpourri - Part II
Missed the beginning? Read Part I here.
Leah's mom didn't seem to think her husband was such a brainiac either. This surprised us at first since she poured over boring wildflower books during camping trips instead of racing leaf boats with us. But she suffered from chronic vicarious-hypochondria, and she was losing the myriad of threats the attic posed to her children's health. She seemed to really enjoy warning us that we'd get frostbite, or cook our brains out, or suffer a brown recluse bite and subsequent expert medical-drowning in peroxide, or get sucked into the giant blades of the house fan. Now she was going to have to dream up all new child-health hazards to enhance her own immune system.
Leah's mom didn't seem to think her husband was such a brainiac either. This surprised us at first since she poured over boring wildflower books during camping trips instead of racing leaf boats with us. But she suffered from chronic vicarious-hypochondria, and she was losing the myriad of threats the attic posed to her children's health. She seemed to really enjoy warning us that we'd get frostbite, or cook our brains out, or suffer a brown recluse bite and subsequent expert medical-drowning in peroxide, or get sucked into the giant blades of the house fan. Now she was going to have to dream up all new child-health hazards to enhance her own immune system.
Labels:
attic,
dad,
funny kids,
grass,
hydrogen peroxide,
mom,
parenting,
potpourri,
Random Tan(JEN)ts,
small town life
Location:
Small Town, Kentucky
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Dad's Attic Potpourri - Part I
Labels:
attic,
dad,
funny kids,
grass,
hydrogen peroxide,
potpourri,
Random Tan(JEN)ts,
small town life
Location:
Small Town, Kentucky
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