Thursday, June 9, 2016

Consent Is Everything

You're a really big guy. Your size alone is intimidating. Your behavior is worse. You got trashed at a wedding. You had your hands all over every woman there. Despite the fact that you didn't know half of them. Despite the fact that most of them didn't want you groping them. Despite the fact that you have a fiancé. Just watching you made me uncomfortable. I told our mutual friends, AND THEY LAUGHED and said, "Oops! We forgot to warn you about him!" Because it's okay since you're a "good guy." Because you "don't mean any harm." Because you're "always like that" when you're drunk. Because it's easier to warn other people to avoid you than to warn YOU that your behavior will not be tolerated. And I said nothing -- to you or to our friends. Because you weren't groping me. Because I didn't want to be a "bitch." Because I didn't want to upset our friends by telling them their excuses for you were bullshit. And so I am angry. At you. At our friends. At myself. We are all guilty. Your behavior, my silence, their excuses. We are part of the problem, part of the culture that blames the victim and defends the attacker. And I am ashamed. #ConsentIsEverything

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